Yup.

Parents feel that habits are a thing. Like, it's almost like a religious, and I'm Atheist.

So I got chewed out today. For have a D. Minus. In Algebra 1. Mostly because the teacher is against me and I don't do my homework because I don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking that she has finally won in the battle of convincing me to actually try hard in Algebra. She kind of turns against me every time the dreaded R-word (responsibility) comes up, which is reasonable, because she should make me look really bad when it comes to responsibility. Because. Like. I'm not responsible.

Anyway, I have a D- in Algebra, which is fine, because I don't care about Algebra. Although my mom says that like, you MUST be 100% on top of not giving up. Like, 100% meaning you can't give up in ANYTHING. EVER. Which is okay? I dunno. But the whole thing about it is that I'm sort of a teenager, and I'm a rebel, and I don't see the point in not giving up in Algebra 1 when I'm taking it next year. I mean, can't I learn the stuff next year also? I'm only in 8th grade, folks.

It's pretty much that I learn to deal with people I hate, like (sometimes) the History teacher and (sometimes) the Spanish teacher. I mean, I got Bs in both their classes, so why does it matter?

While me and mom were arguing about me getting into the habit of not dealing with people I hate, I brought that point up ^^ so she got on the subject of Math, which is important, except I said I'm taking it next year, so then she got on the subject of never giving up, and then I brought up that there is ABSOLUTELY NO POINT in not giving up. I mean really, the last semester of 8th grade is the most pointless thing ever. People feel the need to try hard just so that they can try hard, but I've got music also. Mom started crying because I'm a good little boy and I shouldn't give up, and that as a baby I was so talented and musical.

And so like, if I'm going to be a musician, why ALGEBRA?? I know I sound like a classic teenager, but Algebra isn't actually important, just like anything I would learn past Algebra, in my future, because aren't I going to be a musician?

Well, a failed musician. Because musicians always fail. But whatever. Life is lived to enjoy, so I should enjoy it, right? I should! It's crazy when people stress half their life, they don't feel achieved at the end of their life. I'd like to enjoy my 20s and work towards the end. Well, work. And work. The whole way through. But at least be content.

And working in Algebra is the way I'll be content? No. Non. Nein. Sorry, mom, I'm allowed to give up when I have a second chance, and I've already failed my first chance. I mean, no second chances in life, right? So, might as well take advantage of this one! Besides, I'm totally not ready for Geometry, so I'll just go into Algebra 1 and be looked upon as a loser. Or whatever. Algebra is fine for me. I guess. Sort of.

I think what I'll do is just enjoy all of my life. I'd like to live a life of joy and content, not dread projects that I haven't done, which is happening now. So, you'd say, get them over with quickly, right? Well, I totally have A.D.H.D., so, sorry. I'm just a slacker. And egotistical slackers who don't want to work in life go nowhere, so I'll be a musician. The end.

Well, now that I've ranted all over, I'll just leave.

Bye.

-Alex

Self-Reflection and a Low-Self Esteem

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but at the moment I'm in an all time low.

Which SUCKS! xD

Anyway, I've been reflecting upon myself for a long while now, and I'm slowly figuring out how different people look at me, and how I should look at myself. And naturally, me being me and you being you, I don't see myself the right way, because I'm inside my body! Well obviously this has to be fixed, so I've just been realizing that I can self-reflect

Not like on an English paper, if that's even possible, but whatever. Reflecting upon yourself and making yourself a better person. But I just realized while playing the drums downstairs that I am the person I am, and who I am is not cool.

So far, I've figured out that I am a little short kid who doesn't mind his appearance, doesn't work hard, lives for fun, wants to be good at things but just naturally isn't. I play the drums, but downstairs while I improvise, (because I don't have any great headphones on which to listen to music) I keep coming back to the same rhythms, the same theme of drum playing that I usually do, and that drum playing is sort of simple, cliche kind of rock thing.

I mean, I like all different kinds of music, but I just can't really improvise to them on the drums, and the drums, I thought, was going to be me life. Music. Music is really hard to make a living off of, and I was prepared to work my way through it with the skills I have and all of the stuff that can help me out, like my friend's dad's studio, Metronome, or Morris Pleasure, a famous dude who is friends with my dad. But I can't really do that very well because I know that I'll have to work really hard at becoming someone who I'm not when I'm in front of a drum set.

And also, as stated above, I don't like working hard.

I'm not the kind of person who somebody could really like, somebody could truly actually like right when they talk to me. I'm hyper, I have short-man's syndrome, I'm a know-it-all, and I'm weak, because I don't work hard at getting strong.

If anybody can relate to this, please contribute to my dilemma.

Anyway it's been really bugging me for a LONG time, and I have no idea what to do. I don't know whether to actually work hard and actually get rid of all my distractions, or just do what I'm best at, which is not being the best at anything except being the best at being the bottom. Did you follow that?

I'm the kind of person who shouldn't be really blogging. Of course nobody follows my blog, because that's the kind of person I am, the kind of person no one can like at first sight, which means reading all of my rants on a page named something that relates to my personality, "A Room of Awesome," (the kind of thing that isn't really creative, but you'd think it was made by a 7-year-old) isn't going to be very attractive. I dunno.

I don't know whether or not to get off of Twitter and Facebook and this very blog, or to just do what I do best. I've already explained that.

So now that I'm done typing really quickly, I'm going to leave... I'll publicize my blog to people on Twitter and people in school, but it's me talking, so naturally hey probably won't be interested. I know it gets tiring after a short while, my attitude toward me, but I need someone to tell me what kind of good points I have. Then I might feel better.

I guess I'll just say that I'm simply,

Forever Yours,

-Alex

Lots of Stuff, for the Second day in a Row!

Confusing things are happening to me at the moment. And it's almost vacation for  people in New Hampshire! And I've realized I'm annoying. A summary of today's blog!

Okay anyway, hi. Two blogs in a row. It's weird. Like, really weird. I don't know if I'm going to finish this one, but it almost looks as if I'm doing my homework to my dad. So I'll tell you how you can relate to my confusing situation right now by asking question about you and stuff.

So, have you readers ever self-reflected, meaning looked upon yourself? I mean, have any of you ever really found out who you are? Because I thought I had just a few days ago, and I'm sort of still in a wicked promising path to finding out who I am. It's cool, because it's sort of like, everyone tries to find out their whole life, so it's been a really horizontal slope to finding out who you are, and then my little linen on a graph showing how much I've found out about myself just sky-rocketed.

I'm a know-it-all.

Yup. That's me. I'm also spoiled. 

Have you ever had that feeling before? Like, when you find out something bad about yourself? I mean, I'm not particularly depressed about it, because I've always sort of prided myself in being strictly optimistic at all times, but right now I'm just trying to change, and it's really hard. It takes a lot of energy. And effort. Mostly energy.

Now on a brighter note, in New Hampshire, it's almost Winter Vacation! At the end of winter! Which is stupid! Enough of the !s! Okay anyway... Our school system is stupid. Because unlike most, if it snows 10 feet, they make you go to school, because everything must benefit education!!!! 

Stupid education, ruining everything...

Anyway, they're very strict here, except for the dress code... and all of our teachers are completely unreasonable when it comes to homework. Does that happen to you? Because I'm only in 8th grade, Junior High, and I usually have a two or three hour workload of homework to do every night. And so vacation would be great if I didn't have an ICT project, an English project, and a History project to do. The ICT being the most stressful. And I'm not getting Honor Roll, which is totally disgraceful.

But do I care? Nope!

Don't care very much, anyway. And you know why? Because all of the people that do care are the kind of people I never really get along with. I always think of those people as low people, people that are driven by directive and accomplishment in academics. I don't want to be one of those people, so I try as much as I try and I'll go to a fine music college, because that's what I want to do, be in music. So for all of the people like that out there, don't care too much about grades in Middle School. Because it won't help much in the future.

Oh, and my dad is still a douche. Yay!

Well, now that I'm done puking all over today's post, I'll be seein' yah!

Forever yours,

-Alex

PS- Sorry if there are any typos in previous and future blogs - I haven't had time to correct them, so please forgive me =P

K9? What the HELL??

K9. It sounds like... canine.

Ohhi. I haven't blogged in like, seventeen billion years. Or tweeted. Or caught up with my fellow Nerdfighters. Except now I practically can't, because in this K9 thing, my dad can see everything I do ever in everland. Even if I erase my history. So he'll probably be reading this. But who really cares? Not him, hopefully.

Anyway, I'm just blogging in the kitchen here listening to music and hating my dad. Secretly. And I'm also really confused about girls. And school. And I'm commonly doing homework a little late. And I've been WICKED FREAKING STRESSED lately. Unlike me, right?

Alright, well, let's talk about this K9 shtuff, because I just care that much.

So, I guess this blog will be more about freedom (he says in future tense after four paragraphs)... but anyway, what does everybody think about freedom? I mean like,, tracking websites and stuff. Do you think it's good? Because there are so many mixed opinions about it, i'm just curious what people actually think. I know that teenagers probably hate it, because.. well, they do. Like me. I hate it. But I wonder what parents think? I mean, I know some parents think it's perfectly fine know everything about their child's life, and then others think it's a total invasion of privacy, which I agree with.

What I'm actually wondering is whwy parents would do things like that instead of making the child tough it through? I mean, my parents are soft and will probably give up pretty soon, (my dad particularly... computer hate him) but I'm still not sure if that's really the right way to make kids focus in school. I mean, me and my brother (only two siblings, so all the children) have both been taken away Twitter, Facebook, and Youtube, and a lot of other shtuff.

But that just makes me waste more time trying to look for more websites that have that same function, except they're unknown, meaning they don't fall into any specific category. When I confronted my dad about this, he said that he could easily just block every website liket hat, just like schools. Sooo... is that a good idea also? Or would that just make the child hate the parent? Personally, I think it's the dumbest thing ever, but that's me being a stupid teenager. But... whatever.

I'm gonna try to blog more because of my STUPID DAD, and I hope he doesn't really look at any of these blogs. Hopefully.

But until then, I'll simply be

Forever yours,

-Alex

Sadness

It's late. It's really late. And I have to write a novel. And an essay. For TOMORROW.

Oh hi there. It's me. Your shining star. Your living rose. Your.... sexy elephant.. I don't know what I'm saying

So anywayyyyyyy, let's just get right to the point of my deepening THOUGHTS of epic epicness.

Okay, so as many of you may know, I have a cuddle buddy, a chick friend, a fiancée, a love buddy, a dudette person, a future wife, a person I'm "In a relationship" with... y'know... Her name is Becca. If you've read my tweets, you may have deduced that, maybe, if you're smart, maybe...?

Anyhoosle, Y'knowww, how I'm all happy and joyful and cheering-people-up-like? Well, I just came upon Becca and it was sort of maybe my turn to be kind of sad-ish... Meaning really sad. Aaaand I'm usually the one who makes people happy (I hope) And I tell them all this good stuff that sometimes sort of helps them.

And I was sad, and I was being a pathetic form of myself, really like, being really really hard on myself and stuff, and she fed me the exact same words I tell everyone else. She gave me what I give to other people, she verbally handed to me stuff that she herself does not follow, because as I said, I'm usually the cheerer-upper person, usually, more frequently with Becca, which is fine, because she is...

...let's not go into that...

...Anywayzz, but, it didn't work. And I told her; I told her that it just doesn't work, that when I'm sad, i'm pretty much screwed over, because nothing will work on me except maybe words from a parent or something. Because I know how it all works, I know how the other person is thinking when they say those cheering-up thoughts, because I use them frequently. And it kinda sucks.

I don't really know why I'm blogging about this.

Heading back into the storyyy.... It's like, I dunno, the CEO of Burger King eating at Burger King, it just doesn't happen. It doesn't happen because the CEO of Burger King knows BK's secrets, the secrets behind the deliciousness of it's food, and if he eats the food,, he would taste the lies that lie within it, and it would not be very tasty. It the same thing: I know how it works. And..... If you're like that, watch out.

I guess I have to incorporate my audience into this blog, eh?

I'm just trying to get things off of my chest. Make them fall off of my shoulders.

Oddness.

Another thing, crying. tears. Tearing up. It's... uncommon, for me. The last time I've cried was in 6th grade I think... the last time I've super like, cry-cried, meaning like, I couldn't talk and stuff. That time and last Christmas. That sucked.

Anyhoosley doosley, I find it really hard to cry, because whenever someone else cries, I see it as somwhat part of them, I see embarrassment and I see sadness, and worst of all.. I see weakness. How do I see weakness in crying? Am I really that cold? Anyway, I find it hard to cry, because my mind has built up this barrier between the real me, the sad me, the distraught me, and the crying me. Crying is like, me coming to an all time low. Hehe. All Time Lows.... Hehehe,....

Anyway, if I ever cry, I become so hard on myself because I've become so weak, I've stooped down so low so that I can cry, if I ever go that low, I feel as if I'm as low as like, homeless people. Low meaning understood, not bad, but like, low meaning being hard on yourself as knowing that people "rank" so much higher than you. Powerless, that's a good word for it. I feel powerless. And so then I just fell like nothing is as pathetic as me.

It kinda sucks.

why am I blogging about this??

Well I don't know... Just.. as a fair warning, no one ever become like me, no one should see things the way I see them. By reading this blog, I guess you are just looking at the dangers that I don't know... lie ahead of you? Or maybe West or northeast of you. Take the right path, children =P Anyway, just don't become me.

That sounds kinda pathetic =P

Well, I guess I'll just leave you to think about.. I don't know.. sadness. Yeah, I'll leave you to think about sadness.

Seeya,

Forever and ever yours,

-Alex

10-year-olds. Yummy.

Hola. It's me.

If you hadn't figured that out.

I do not know what to blog about. This will be improv. What to blog about...? I could blog about anything I'm thinking about... That would take up some space on this page.

If you hadn't noticed, I blog to have long posts. I don't want to bore anyone.

Well.. Today I went to this now-11-year-old's birthday party, with a bunch of these little people, and one of them had meds for A.D.D., and another looked like he was either extremely awkward, or had autism. Very very high functionality, so I'm thinking the former.

Anyway, there all of these little 10 year olds, but it's weird, because y'know how I'm all thinking about things and stuff? (You probably could've deduced that by now if you've been reading my blog (which no one has been)) Well, it's strange because I could relate to each one of them and what they were thinking, because some were really hyper, some were really in to whatever they were doing, some were really hyper, and some were just plain small and little and seemingly violent. And at that birthday party, I kept wondering whether I was like that when I was their age?

Is that normal?

Well, I guess it would be... I mean, it's a strange question, because you don't really recall how you acted when you were little because you didn't have much self-awareness when you were little. I guess you could gain back ground information from other sources?

I don't know. All I know is that Asquared+Bsquared=Csquared... Imeanwait, whut?

All I know is that it's frustrating and one will never really know their true every-day actions in their past. Which is kind of not good, dontcha think?? Stupid world, taking away our memory. I don't like the world today. *rambling*

Well, I don't know, this post has been not good, but I guess it will give you something to think about? I guess for now I'll just be

Forever yours,

-Alex

*sigh* Stuff about technologyyy....

Well hello there. It's me. Awesomehead. I'm here to coach you ab-- YOPP!!!! *stolenjokesstolenjokes!*

Hehe, this blog totally needs an intro theme song xD So hello. I know, I haven't blogged since Christmas. It's been a long time. Even though it hasn't.

So I was pondering, one fateful day in early January, like, the 2nd, about stuff. Okay, that didn't come off as majestic as I would have hoped. okay, so I was up really late on my new laptop, right? Twittering. about stuff. and @loisunpublished and @maureenjohnson and some other people that I follow post a lot, and I was SO BORED that I was replying 'n stuff. And it made me wonder. Is Twitter meant to share something you did, or something you think, and then just have people read it and move on? Is it something to just put your thoughts down in? Are people actually, y'know, supposed to reply to what you say, or is that considered annoying, or in vice versa, rude? (Did that just make sense?)

Well, I don't know. It's a though to ponder on, and I NEEEDDDD (want really badly (If you hadn't figured that out)) answerssss so that it's less.... weird... when I go on Twitter. Also youtube.

Youtube is weird. I mean, if you're subscribed to this not-so-famous channel, and you comment and all of their videos because it's generally accepted to comment on videos, do the people making the video y'know, think of "that dude who always comments on my videos"? Say if a channel has like, 100 subscribers or something, and you see usually only 5-10 comments, of there's always the same person commenting that you have no idea who it is, do the people think of that person, and do they judge you and/or think of you as a creeper? Or do they think of you as a fan?

I'm asking this because, as you know by my new and improved bio, I'm outgoing. And Youtube and Facebook and Twitter are great sites to randomly come across this person, me they be younger or older or live near you or far away from you, that is weird and interesting and like you. Like you a lot. But you're the one who has come across them on this site, and they have not come across you, so you subscribe to them or friend them or follow them, and they don't think of it as "coming across" some person that's "like" them, they think of it as some random person they don't know that starts following them. It's kind of frustrating, because I don't know the answer and I want to know the appropriate thing to.. y'know.. do. Or act the right way. Or whatever.

If any random stranger who I don't know could comment, I wouldn't think of you as a creeper or anything, and it wouldn't be awkward. For me. Because I don't know how people think of random people like me follow/friend/subscribing, but I don't think that way. So, I don't know if this was long or short or if it looks long or short, this post, but I will be leaving you with my classic,

Forever yours,

-Alex