Yup.

Parents feel that habits are a thing. Like, it's almost like a religious, and I'm Atheist.

So I got chewed out today. For have a D. Minus. In Algebra 1. Mostly because the teacher is against me and I don't do my homework because I don't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking that she has finally won in the battle of convincing me to actually try hard in Algebra. She kind of turns against me every time the dreaded R-word (responsibility) comes up, which is reasonable, because she should make me look really bad when it comes to responsibility. Because. Like. I'm not responsible.

Anyway, I have a D- in Algebra, which is fine, because I don't care about Algebra. Although my mom says that like, you MUST be 100% on top of not giving up. Like, 100% meaning you can't give up in ANYTHING. EVER. Which is okay? I dunno. But the whole thing about it is that I'm sort of a teenager, and I'm a rebel, and I don't see the point in not giving up in Algebra 1 when I'm taking it next year. I mean, can't I learn the stuff next year also? I'm only in 8th grade, folks.

It's pretty much that I learn to deal with people I hate, like (sometimes) the History teacher and (sometimes) the Spanish teacher. I mean, I got Bs in both their classes, so why does it matter?

While me and mom were arguing about me getting into the habit of not dealing with people I hate, I brought that point up ^^ so she got on the subject of Math, which is important, except I said I'm taking it next year, so then she got on the subject of never giving up, and then I brought up that there is ABSOLUTELY NO POINT in not giving up. I mean really, the last semester of 8th grade is the most pointless thing ever. People feel the need to try hard just so that they can try hard, but I've got music also. Mom started crying because I'm a good little boy and I shouldn't give up, and that as a baby I was so talented and musical.

And so like, if I'm going to be a musician, why ALGEBRA?? I know I sound like a classic teenager, but Algebra isn't actually important, just like anything I would learn past Algebra, in my future, because aren't I going to be a musician?

Well, a failed musician. Because musicians always fail. But whatever. Life is lived to enjoy, so I should enjoy it, right? I should! It's crazy when people stress half their life, they don't feel achieved at the end of their life. I'd like to enjoy my 20s and work towards the end. Well, work. And work. The whole way through. But at least be content.

And working in Algebra is the way I'll be content? No. Non. Nein. Sorry, mom, I'm allowed to give up when I have a second chance, and I've already failed my first chance. I mean, no second chances in life, right? So, might as well take advantage of this one! Besides, I'm totally not ready for Geometry, so I'll just go into Algebra 1 and be looked upon as a loser. Or whatever. Algebra is fine for me. I guess. Sort of.

I think what I'll do is just enjoy all of my life. I'd like to live a life of joy and content, not dread projects that I haven't done, which is happening now. So, you'd say, get them over with quickly, right? Well, I totally have A.D.H.D., so, sorry. I'm just a slacker. And egotistical slackers who don't want to work in life go nowhere, so I'll be a musician. The end.

Well, now that I've ranted all over, I'll just leave.

Bye.

-Alex

Self-Reflection and a Low-Self Esteem

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but at the moment I'm in an all time low.

Which SUCKS! xD

Anyway, I've been reflecting upon myself for a long while now, and I'm slowly figuring out how different people look at me, and how I should look at myself. And naturally, me being me and you being you, I don't see myself the right way, because I'm inside my body! Well obviously this has to be fixed, so I've just been realizing that I can self-reflect

Not like on an English paper, if that's even possible, but whatever. Reflecting upon yourself and making yourself a better person. But I just realized while playing the drums downstairs that I am the person I am, and who I am is not cool.

So far, I've figured out that I am a little short kid who doesn't mind his appearance, doesn't work hard, lives for fun, wants to be good at things but just naturally isn't. I play the drums, but downstairs while I improvise, (because I don't have any great headphones on which to listen to music) I keep coming back to the same rhythms, the same theme of drum playing that I usually do, and that drum playing is sort of simple, cliche kind of rock thing.

I mean, I like all different kinds of music, but I just can't really improvise to them on the drums, and the drums, I thought, was going to be me life. Music. Music is really hard to make a living off of, and I was prepared to work my way through it with the skills I have and all of the stuff that can help me out, like my friend's dad's studio, Metronome, or Morris Pleasure, a famous dude who is friends with my dad. But I can't really do that very well because I know that I'll have to work really hard at becoming someone who I'm not when I'm in front of a drum set.

And also, as stated above, I don't like working hard.

I'm not the kind of person who somebody could really like, somebody could truly actually like right when they talk to me. I'm hyper, I have short-man's syndrome, I'm a know-it-all, and I'm weak, because I don't work hard at getting strong.

If anybody can relate to this, please contribute to my dilemma.

Anyway it's been really bugging me for a LONG time, and I have no idea what to do. I don't know whether to actually work hard and actually get rid of all my distractions, or just do what I'm best at, which is not being the best at anything except being the best at being the bottom. Did you follow that?

I'm the kind of person who shouldn't be really blogging. Of course nobody follows my blog, because that's the kind of person I am, the kind of person no one can like at first sight, which means reading all of my rants on a page named something that relates to my personality, "A Room of Awesome," (the kind of thing that isn't really creative, but you'd think it was made by a 7-year-old) isn't going to be very attractive. I dunno.

I don't know whether or not to get off of Twitter and Facebook and this very blog, or to just do what I do best. I've already explained that.

So now that I'm done typing really quickly, I'm going to leave... I'll publicize my blog to people on Twitter and people in school, but it's me talking, so naturally hey probably won't be interested. I know it gets tiring after a short while, my attitude toward me, but I need someone to tell me what kind of good points I have. Then I might feel better.

I guess I'll just say that I'm simply,

Forever Yours,

-Alex