I know I haven't blogged in a while, but at the moment I'm in an all time low.
Which SUCKS! xD
Anyway, I've been reflecting upon myself for a long while now, and I'm slowly figuring out how different people look at me, and how I should look at myself. And naturally, me being me and you being you, I don't see myself the right way, because I'm inside my body! Well obviously this has to be fixed, so I've just been realizing that I can self-reflect
Not like on an English paper, if that's even possible, but whatever. Reflecting upon yourself and making yourself a better person. But I just realized while playing the drums downstairs that I am the person I am, and who I am is not cool.
So far, I've figured out that I am a little short kid who doesn't mind his appearance, doesn't work hard, lives for fun, wants to be good at things but just naturally isn't. I play the drums, but downstairs while I improvise, (because I don't have any great headphones on which to listen to music) I keep coming back to the same rhythms, the same theme of drum playing that I usually do, and that drum playing is sort of simple, cliche kind of rock thing.
I mean, I like all different kinds of music, but I just can't really improvise to them on the drums, and the drums, I thought, was going to be me life. Music. Music is really hard to make a living off of, and I was prepared to work my way through it with the skills I have and all of the stuff that can help me out, like my friend's dad's studio, Metronome, or Morris Pleasure, a famous dude who is friends with my dad. But I can't really do that very well because I know that I'll have to work really hard at becoming someone who I'm not when I'm in front of a drum set.
And also, as stated above, I don't like working hard.
I'm not the kind of person who somebody could really like, somebody could truly actually like right when they talk to me. I'm hyper, I have short-man's syndrome, I'm a know-it-all, and I'm weak, because I don't work hard at getting strong.
If anybody can relate to this, please contribute to my dilemma.
Anyway it's been really bugging me for a LONG time, and I have no idea what to do. I don't know whether to actually work hard and actually get rid of all my distractions, or just do what I'm best at, which is not being the best at anything except being the best at being the bottom. Did you follow that?
I'm the kind of person who shouldn't be really blogging. Of course nobody follows my blog, because that's the kind of person I am, the kind of person no one can like at first sight, which means reading all of my rants on a page named something that relates to my personality, "A Room of Awesome," (the kind of thing that isn't really creative, but you'd think it was made by a 7-year-old) isn't going to be very attractive. I dunno.
I don't know whether or not to get off of Twitter and Facebook and this very blog, or to just do what I do best. I've already explained that.
So now that I'm done typing really quickly, I'm going to leave... I'll publicize my blog to people on Twitter and people in school, but it's me talking, so naturally hey probably won't be interested. I know it gets tiring after a short while, my attitude toward me, but I need someone to tell me what kind of good points I have. Then I might feel better.
I guess I'll just say that I'm simply,
Forever Yours,
-Alex
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