Sadness

It's late. It's really late. And I have to write a novel. And an essay. For TOMORROW.

Oh hi there. It's me. Your shining star. Your living rose. Your.... sexy elephant.. I don't know what I'm saying

So anywayyyyyyy, let's just get right to the point of my deepening THOUGHTS of epic epicness.

Okay, so as many of you may know, I have a cuddle buddy, a chick friend, a fiancée, a love buddy, a dudette person, a future wife, a person I'm "In a relationship" with... y'know... Her name is Becca. If you've read my tweets, you may have deduced that, maybe, if you're smart, maybe...?

Anyhoosle, Y'knowww, how I'm all happy and joyful and cheering-people-up-like? Well, I just came upon Becca and it was sort of maybe my turn to be kind of sad-ish... Meaning really sad. Aaaand I'm usually the one who makes people happy (I hope) And I tell them all this good stuff that sometimes sort of helps them.

And I was sad, and I was being a pathetic form of myself, really like, being really really hard on myself and stuff, and she fed me the exact same words I tell everyone else. She gave me what I give to other people, she verbally handed to me stuff that she herself does not follow, because as I said, I'm usually the cheerer-upper person, usually, more frequently with Becca, which is fine, because she is...

...let's not go into that...

...Anywayzz, but, it didn't work. And I told her; I told her that it just doesn't work, that when I'm sad, i'm pretty much screwed over, because nothing will work on me except maybe words from a parent or something. Because I know how it all works, I know how the other person is thinking when they say those cheering-up thoughts, because I use them frequently. And it kinda sucks.

I don't really know why I'm blogging about this.

Heading back into the storyyy.... It's like, I dunno, the CEO of Burger King eating at Burger King, it just doesn't happen. It doesn't happen because the CEO of Burger King knows BK's secrets, the secrets behind the deliciousness of it's food, and if he eats the food,, he would taste the lies that lie within it, and it would not be very tasty. It the same thing: I know how it works. And..... If you're like that, watch out.

I guess I have to incorporate my audience into this blog, eh?

I'm just trying to get things off of my chest. Make them fall off of my shoulders.

Oddness.

Another thing, crying. tears. Tearing up. It's... uncommon, for me. The last time I've cried was in 6th grade I think... the last time I've super like, cry-cried, meaning like, I couldn't talk and stuff. That time and last Christmas. That sucked.

Anyhoosley doosley, I find it really hard to cry, because whenever someone else cries, I see it as somwhat part of them, I see embarrassment and I see sadness, and worst of all.. I see weakness. How do I see weakness in crying? Am I really that cold? Anyway, I find it hard to cry, because my mind has built up this barrier between the real me, the sad me, the distraught me, and the crying me. Crying is like, me coming to an all time low. Hehe. All Time Lows.... Hehehe,....

Anyway, if I ever cry, I become so hard on myself because I've become so weak, I've stooped down so low so that I can cry, if I ever go that low, I feel as if I'm as low as like, homeless people. Low meaning understood, not bad, but like, low meaning being hard on yourself as knowing that people "rank" so much higher than you. Powerless, that's a good word for it. I feel powerless. And so then I just fell like nothing is as pathetic as me.

It kinda sucks.

why am I blogging about this??

Well I don't know... Just.. as a fair warning, no one ever become like me, no one should see things the way I see them. By reading this blog, I guess you are just looking at the dangers that I don't know... lie ahead of you? Or maybe West or northeast of you. Take the right path, children =P Anyway, just don't become me.

That sounds kinda pathetic =P

Well, I guess I'll just leave you to think about.. I don't know.. sadness. Yeah, I'll leave you to think about sadness.

Seeya,

Forever and ever yours,

-Alex

10-year-olds. Yummy.

Hola. It's me.

If you hadn't figured that out.

I do not know what to blog about. This will be improv. What to blog about...? I could blog about anything I'm thinking about... That would take up some space on this page.

If you hadn't noticed, I blog to have long posts. I don't want to bore anyone.

Well.. Today I went to this now-11-year-old's birthday party, with a bunch of these little people, and one of them had meds for A.D.D., and another looked like he was either extremely awkward, or had autism. Very very high functionality, so I'm thinking the former.

Anyway, there all of these little 10 year olds, but it's weird, because y'know how I'm all thinking about things and stuff? (You probably could've deduced that by now if you've been reading my blog (which no one has been)) Well, it's strange because I could relate to each one of them and what they were thinking, because some were really hyper, some were really in to whatever they were doing, some were really hyper, and some were just plain small and little and seemingly violent. And at that birthday party, I kept wondering whether I was like that when I was their age?

Is that normal?

Well, I guess it would be... I mean, it's a strange question, because you don't really recall how you acted when you were little because you didn't have much self-awareness when you were little. I guess you could gain back ground information from other sources?

I don't know. All I know is that Asquared+Bsquared=Csquared... Imeanwait, whut?

All I know is that it's frustrating and one will never really know their true every-day actions in their past. Which is kind of not good, dontcha think?? Stupid world, taking away our memory. I don't like the world today. *rambling*

Well, I don't know, this post has been not good, but I guess it will give you something to think about? I guess for now I'll just be

Forever yours,

-Alex

*sigh* Stuff about technologyyy....

Well hello there. It's me. Awesomehead. I'm here to coach you ab-- YOPP!!!! *stolenjokesstolenjokes!*

Hehe, this blog totally needs an intro theme song xD So hello. I know, I haven't blogged since Christmas. It's been a long time. Even though it hasn't.

So I was pondering, one fateful day in early January, like, the 2nd, about stuff. Okay, that didn't come off as majestic as I would have hoped. okay, so I was up really late on my new laptop, right? Twittering. about stuff. and @loisunpublished and @maureenjohnson and some other people that I follow post a lot, and I was SO BORED that I was replying 'n stuff. And it made me wonder. Is Twitter meant to share something you did, or something you think, and then just have people read it and move on? Is it something to just put your thoughts down in? Are people actually, y'know, supposed to reply to what you say, or is that considered annoying, or in vice versa, rude? (Did that just make sense?)

Well, I don't know. It's a though to ponder on, and I NEEEDDDD (want really badly (If you hadn't figured that out)) answerssss so that it's less.... weird... when I go on Twitter. Also youtube.

Youtube is weird. I mean, if you're subscribed to this not-so-famous channel, and you comment and all of their videos because it's generally accepted to comment on videos, do the people making the video y'know, think of "that dude who always comments on my videos"? Say if a channel has like, 100 subscribers or something, and you see usually only 5-10 comments, of there's always the same person commenting that you have no idea who it is, do the people think of that person, and do they judge you and/or think of you as a creeper? Or do they think of you as a fan?

I'm asking this because, as you know by my new and improved bio, I'm outgoing. And Youtube and Facebook and Twitter are great sites to randomly come across this person, me they be younger or older or live near you or far away from you, that is weird and interesting and like you. Like you a lot. But you're the one who has come across them on this site, and they have not come across you, so you subscribe to them or friend them or follow them, and they don't think of it as "coming across" some person that's "like" them, they think of it as some random person they don't know that starts following them. It's kind of frustrating, because I don't know the answer and I want to know the appropriate thing to.. y'know.. do. Or act the right way. Or whatever.

If any random stranger who I don't know could comment, I wouldn't think of you as a creeper or anything, and it wouldn't be awkward. For me. Because I don't know how people think of random people like me follow/friend/subscribing, but I don't think that way. So, I don't know if this was long or short or if it looks long or short, this post, but I will be leaving you with my classic,

Forever yours,

-Alex