Alright, well I was on the Nerdfighters ning, and there was this big awkward silence. Then someone asked, (it's a chat room full of people) and I quote: "So who thinks im being stupid by trying to become a better person to convince the girl who broke up with me to take me back?"
I was surprised. When someone asks a question, any question, on the Nerdfighters ning, everyone's too caught up in their own little thing for everyone there to reply. But this time, I think there were three or four other people talking, everyone responded. It was like a deepening statement, automatically getting everyone's hearts out of their brains and into what they say. If that makes sense. People said sentimental stuff like "Do it for you," or "Be yourself," and saying that he was definitely, DEFINITELY, not stupid.
Someone said be yourself, yes. It was interesting, because I was just pondering what that actually means. Does it mean be who you are on the inside? If so, what does that mean? (I have started many a post with that two question structure, I just realized.) I'm thinking that when people say "Be yourself," They actually mean don't try to screw anything up by being slick and stuff. Do what feels right, and don't every stray away from it. It's interesting. It's like saying "There there" to someone who's crying. It means almost nothing, but it's so comforting that the person feels better. "Be yourself" means almost nothing, but people follow the advice and do better.
So is it stupid, becoming a better person and trying to make someone take you back? When they say "be yourself," Does that mean just be the person that you are, not necessarily a "better" person? An interesting way of looking at things, but necessary to figure out questions of life. I feel that becoming a better person is a very good cause, but how does one be better than they are? If they're themselves, there should be no better alternative to a girl. Being a better person to get a girl would not being yourself, in my eyes. (Question for the comments: Do you agree?) If a girl breaks up with you for whatever reason, or a guy depending on who you're interested in, then they don't understand who you are. By becoming a better person, the fog becomes deeper, and it's harder to see who you are.
So for anyone who has just been dumped, you mat love the person. I have felt that pain before. But remember, that if you want to change for them, do your best the first few times. Eventually you'll realize that really, if they loved you, they wouldn't need you to change. It an equivalent exchange, always. For them to love you, you need to love them back. You can't have a one-sided love. Well you can, but that's not exactly how people define a "relationship." The people who change and have broken up and then gotten back together with the person and married them are rare and inconsistent, and although they may feel bad or great about their lives, the people around them will envy them and try to do what they did. Don't. Because chances are, it won't work.
It's a very hard topic to blog about, and I think I did my best... I know a lot of people will disagree, many many MANY people, whoever reads this post, but if I had time I would edit and re-edit this. But for now,
Forever doing my best for you,
-Alex
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